Learn English with Modern Family

#10. Self-Diagnosis


icon
5.10.2018   [ UPDATED JUL 2022 ]
Level 4   |   Time: 3:25
Accent: American, Colombian
Source: Modern Family [S2 E09]

Jay is worried about some stomach pain, but Gloria thinks that it is nothing.


    

triangle Directions 목표 Direcciones Instruções


  1. READ the VOCABULARY + BACKGROUND

    It is important to read the vocabulary and background before you watch the video. This will improve your ability to understand the video. It will also help you understand how the new vocabulary is used naturally.

  2. WATCH the VIDEO

    The first time you watch the video, just try to understand the overall situation.

  3. ANSWER the QUESTIONS

    First, try to answer all the questions from memory. Then rewatch the video and try to answer the questions that you missed.

  4. WATCH and READ the SCRIPT

    Watch the video again while you read the script. Reading and listening at the same time will help you hear each individual word and improve your listening accuracy.

  5. DO the ACTIVITIES

    There are several different activities that focus on listening accuracy, pronunciation, vocabulary, grammar, and sentence structure.

  1. LEA el VOCABULARIO y ANTECEDENTES.

    Es importante leer el vocabulario y los antecedentes antes de ver el video. Esto mejorará su capacidad para comprender el video. También le ayudará a comprender cómo se usa el nuevo vocabulario de forma natural.

  2. VER el VIDEO

    La primera vez que vea el video, intente comprender la situación general.

  3. RESPONDE a las PREGUNTAS

    Primero intente responder todas las preguntas de memoria. Luego, vuelva a ver el video e intente responder las preguntas que se perdió.

  4. MIRAR Y LEER

    Mire el video nuevamente mientras lee el guión. Leer y escuchar al mismo tiempo lo ayudará a escuchar cada palabra individual y mejorará su precisión auditiva.

  5. HACER LAS ACTIVIDADES

    Hay una serie de actividades diferentes que se centran en la precisión auditiva, la pronunciación, el vocabulario, la gramática y la estructura de las oraciones.

  1. 어휘와 배경 읽기

    비디오를 보기 전에 어휘와 배경을 읽는 것이 중요합니다. 이렇게 하면 비디오를 이해하는 능력이 향상됩니다. 또한 새로운 어휘가 어떻게 자연스럽게 사용되는지 이해하는데 도움이됩니다.

  2. 비디오 보기

    비디오를 처음 볼 때 전체 상황을 이해하려고 노력하세요.

  3. 문제에 답하기

    먼저 모든 질문에 답을 해보세요. 그런 다음 비디오를 다시보고 놓친 질문에 답해보세요.

  4. 비디오 보면서 대본 읽기

    대본을 읽는 동안 비디오를 다시 보세요. 읽기와 듣기를 동시에 하면 각각의 단어를 듣고, 듣기 정확도를 향상시킬 수 있습니다.

  5. 액티비티 하기

    듣기 정확도, 발음, 어휘, 문법 및 문장 구조에 초점을 맞춘 다양한 액티비티가 있습니다.

  1. LER o VOCABULÁRIO + FUNDO

    É importante ler o vocabulário e o histórico antes de assistir ao vídeo. Isso melhorará sua capacidade de entender o vídeo. Também ajudará você a entender como o novo vocabulário é usado naturalmente.

  2. ASSISTA ao VÍDEO

    Na primeira vez que assistir ao vídeo, tente entender a situação geral.

  3. RESPONDA às PERGUNTAS

    Primeiro, tente responder todas as perguntas de memória. Em seguida, assista novamente ao vídeo e tente responder às perguntas que você errou.

  4. ASSISTA e LEIA o SCRIPT

    Assista ao vídeo novamente enquanto lê o roteiro. Ler e ouvir ao mesmo tempo ajudará você a ouvir cada palavra individualmente e a melhorar sua precisão auditiva.

  5. FAÇA as ATIVIDADES

    Existem várias atividades diferentes que se concentram na precisão auditiva, pronúncia, vocabulário, gramática e estrutura da frase.

triangle Vocabulary 어휘 Vocabulário Vocabulario


  • ☐ ☐ ☐ diagnosis [n] - identifying an illness
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ self-diagnosis [n] - identifying an illness without the help of a doctor
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ a crib [n] - a baby's bed
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ a sniffle [n] - an act of sniffing because of a cold or crying
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ a dislocated shoulder [exp] - an injured shoulder joint
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ get off [phv] - stop using
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ nausea [n] - a feeling of sickness and wanting to vomit
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ bloating [n] - feeling full or uncomfortable because of gas
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ an intestinal blockage [n] - being unable to poop because of an obstruction in the intestine
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ a round of golf [exp] - a game of golf
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ play through [phv] - go ahead of me (in golf)
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ Did she buy that? [v] - Did she believe that?
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ a scallop [n] - a type of seafood in a fan-shaped shell
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ colorful [adj] - very descriptive language
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ cured [adj] - healed
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ Florence Nightingale [p] - a nurse famous for kindness
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ an ulcer [n] - a painful lesion in the stomach
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ gas [n] - gas generated in the alimentary canal; flatulence; farting
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ diverticulitis [n] - an illness in the large intestine causing stomach pain
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ acute appendicitis [n] - a serious medical condition in which the appendix becomes inflamed and painful
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ a rupture [n] - a break
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ an appendectomy [n] - a surgery to remove someone's appendix
  • ☐ ☐ ☐ anesthesia [n] - gas used to make people sleep before surgery

[n] - noun,  [v] - verb, [phv] - phrasal verb,  [adj] - adjective,  [exp] - expression



triangle Background 배경 O fundo Antecedentes


Jay Gloria Manny
Jay Gloria Manny
  • Jay and Gloria are married.
  • Manny is Gloria's son and Jay's stepson.
  • Gloria is from Colombia.
  • Jay is much older than Gloria.

triangle Questions 문제 Questões Preguntas [ ? ]

Questions

These are guided listening questions. These questions are NOT designed to test or trick you. They are designed to guide you through the video.

TIP: If you don’t understand something in the video, click "Show Answers". You should be able to understand all of the important points of the video by reading the questions and the correct answers.

Preguntas

Estas son preguntas de escucha guiada. Estas preguntas NO están diseñadas para ponerte a prueba o engañarte. Están diseñados para guiarlo a través del video.

CONSEJO: Si no entiende algo en el video, haga clic en "Show Answers". Debería poder comprender todos los puntos importantes del video leyendo las preguntas y las respuestas correctas.

질문

이것은 안내식 듣기 질문입니다. 이 질문들은 당신을 시험하거나 속이기 위한 것이 아닙니다. 동영상을 통해 안내하도록 설계되었습니다.

팁 : 동영상에서 이해가 되지 않는 부분이 있으면 "Show Answers"를 클릭하세요. 질문과 정답을 읽으면서 영상의 중요한 요점을 모두 이해할 수 있어야 합니다.

Perguntas

Estas são perguntas de escuta guiadas. Essas perguntas NÃO foram elaboradas para testar ou enganar você. Eles são projetados para guiá-lo através do vídeo.

DICA: Se você não entender algo no vídeo, clique em "Mostrar respostas". Você deve entender todos os pontos importantes do vídeo lendo as perguntas e as respostas corretas.


  1. Where does Gloria want to go with Jay?
    golfing
    to the mall
    to the hospital

  2. Why doesn't Jay want to go?
    He is tired.
    He doesn't feel well.
    He has to go to work.

  3. Why is Gloria making fun of Jay?
    Because she thinks he is overreacting to some pain.
    Because he doesn't like to go shopping.
    Because he ate a lot of junk food before.

  4. Why is Gloria angry at Manny?
    Because he can't help Jay.
    Because he isn't doing his homework.
    Because he is using a medical website.

  5. Why does Jay agree to go shopping?
    Because he wants to buy some medicine.
    Because he doesn't want Gloria to get angry.
    Because he doesn't want Gloria to spend a lot of money.

  6. Why does Jay call Manny?
    He wants to know when to come home.
    He wants help choosing a gift for Gloria.
    He wants some health advice.

  7. What is Manny doing when Jay calls him?
    Playing golf
    Playing mini-golf
    Playing table tennis

  8. Who does Jay pretend to be talking to when Gloria walks in the room?
    a co-worker
    a doctor
    his daughter

  9. What symptom does Jay have?
    nausea
    a fever
    stomach pain

  10. Why does Gloria think Jay feels pain?
    Because he ate too much.
    Because he is reading about symptoms online.
    Because he has an ulcer.

  11. How does Gloria want to solve Jay's health problem?
    Giving him some pills
    Giving him a massage
    Closing the computer

  12. What did the doctor say Jay's problem could be before his examination?
    appendicitis
    diverticulitis
    an ulcer
    gas

  13. What did the doctor say Jay's problem was after his examination?
    appendicitis
    diverticulitis
    an ulcer
    gas

  14. How long has Jay been in pain?
    2 hours
    2 days
    2 weeks

  15. Why does Gloria suddenly get upset?
    She feels guilty because she didn't believe Jay was sick.
    She feels worried that he might die.
    She feels angry that Manny wasn't able to figure out Jay's illness.
    She feels scared that the doctors will laugh at her.

  16. What does Manny warn could kill Jay?
    an appendectomy
    an ulcer
    anesthesia



triangle Vocabulary Review 어휘 검토 Revisão de vocabulário Vocabulario revisión


Directions: Match the health problem to its meaning.

  • - Feeling like you want to throw up.
    (Nauseous)
  • - Feeling full with some stomach pain.
    (Bloated)
  • - Sniffing with your nose because you have a cold.
    (A sniffle)
  • - When the joint becomes disconnected.
    (A dislocated shoulder)
  • - The gas that is used to put people to sleep before an operation.
    (Anesthesia)
  • - The very painful illness that eventually causes one's appendix to burst.
    (Appendicitis)

Directions: Choose the verb that best matches each illness.

  • I (feel) nauseous.
  • I (feel) bloated.
  • I (have) a sniffle.
  • I (have) an ulcer.
  • I (have) appendicitis.
  • I (have) a dislocated shoulder.



triangle Sentence Building (Summary) 문장 만들기 Construção de sentença Construcción de oraciones [ ? ]

Summary

This activity is designed to improve sentence accuracy and complexity. Most students can produce the key content words in a sentence. However, they have difficulty with accuracy because the functional words are difficult or can seem unimportant. This activity will help learners eliminate problems with these functional words by giving them immediate feedback on the mistakes they are making. It will also help students develop their use of more natural, varied and complex sentence structures.

TIP: Say the sentence out loud. Notice the types of mistake you make often. Focus on those types of errors. (singular/plural, subject-verb agreement, article use, prepositions, gerunds and infinitives, noun clauses, adjective clauses, word order, and word forms.)

Resumen

Esta actividad está diseñada para mejorar la precisión y complejidad de las oraciones. La mayoría de los estudiantes pueden producir las palabras clave del contenido en una oración. Sin embargo, tienen dificultades con la precisión porque las palabras funcionales son difíciles o pueden parecer poco importantes. Esta actividad ayudará a los alumnos a eliminar problemas con estas palabras funcionales al brindarles retroalimentación inmediata sobre los errores que están cometiendo. También ayudará a los estudiantes a desarrollar su uso de estructuras de oraciones más naturales, variadas y complejas.

CONSEJO: Diga la oración en voz alta. Observe los tipos de errores que comete con frecuencia. Concéntrese en ese tipo de errores. (singular / plural, concordancia entre sujeto y verbo, uso del artículo, preposiciones, gerundios e infinitivos, cláusulas sustantivas, cláusulas adjetivas, orden de las palabras y formas de las palabras).

요약

이 액티비티는 문장의 정확성과 복잡성을 개선하기 위해 고안되었습니다. 대부분의 학생들은 문장에서 핵심 내용 단어를 생성 할 수 있습니다. 그러나 기능적 단어가 어렵거나 중요하지 않은 것처럼 보일 수 있기 때문에 정확성에 어려움이 있습니다. 이 액티비티는 학습자가 실수에 대한 즉각적인 피드백을 제공함으로써 이러한 기능적 단어의 문제를 제거하는 데 도움이 됩니다. 또한 학생들이 보다 자연스럽고 다양하며 복잡한 문장 구조를 사용하는 데 도움이 됩니다.

팁 : 문장을 크게 말하세요. 자주 저지르는 실수 유형과, 이러한 유형의 오류에 집중하세요. (단수 / 복수, 주어-동사 일치, 관사 사용, 전치사, 동명사 및 부정사, 명사절, 형용사절, 어순 및 단어 형태)

Resumo

Esta atividade foi desenvolvida para melhorar a precisão e a complexidade das frases. A maioria dos alunos pode produzir as palavras-chave do conteúdo em uma frase. No entanto, eles têm dificuldade com precisão porque as palavras funcionais são difíceis ou podem parecer sem importância. Esta atividade ajudará os alunos a eliminar problemas com essas palavras funcionais, dando-lhes feedback imediato sobre os erros que estão cometendo. Também ajudará os alunos a desenvolver o uso de estruturas de sentenças mais naturais, variadas e complexas.

DICA: Diga a frase em voz alta. Observe os tipos de erro que você comete com frequência. Concentre-se nesses tipos de erros. (singular/plural, concordância sujeito-verbo, uso de artigos, preposições, gerúndios e infinitivos, cláusulas substantivas, cláusulas adjetivas, ordem das palavras e formas das palavras.)


Directions: Write sentences about the video clip using the words given. You can change the word form or add words, but you cannot change the word order. Use a present time frame (tense).

Instrucciones: Escriba oraciones sobre el videoclip usando las palabras dadas. Puede cambiar la forma de la palabra o agregar palabras, pero no puede cambiar el orden de las palabras. Usa el tiempo presente.

Instrucciones: Escribe oraciones sobre el videoclip usando las palabras dadas. Puede cambiar la forma de las palabras o agregar palabras, pero no puede cambiar el orden de las palabras. Usa tiempo presente.

지시 : 주어진 단어를 사용하여 비디오 클립에 대한 문장을 씁니다. 어형을 변경하거나 단어를 추가할 수 있지만 어순은 변경할 수 없습니다. 현재 시제를 사용합니다.



Sentence 1

Jay / not / want / go / mall / Gloria / because / he / not / feel / well


Jay doesn't want to go with the mall with Gloria because he doesn't feel well.
Jay doesn't want to go with the mall with Gloria because he isn't feeling well.



Sentence 2

Gloria / think / American / baby / because / they / run / hospital / every / time / they / get / little / sniffle


Gloria thinks (that) Americans are babies because they run to the hospital every time (that) they get a little sniffle.



Sentence 3

Jay / call / Manny / ask / him / check / symptom / medical / website


Jay calls Manny to ask him to check his symptoms on [his/a] medical website.
Jay calls Manny and asks him to check his symptoms on [his/a] medical website.



Sentence 4

Jay / say / he / feel / he / stab


Jay says (that) he feels like he is being stabbed.



Sentence 5

Gloria / believe / Jay / only / feel / sick / because / he / keep / check / medicine / website


Gloria believes (that) Jay only feels sick because he keeps checking medical websites.



Sentence 6

Jay / sneak / out / house / and / go / hospital / behind / Gloria / back


Jay sneaks out of the house and goes to the hospital behind Gloria's back.



Sentence 7a

doctor / tell / Jay / he / could / gas / ulcer


The doctor [told/tells] Jay (that) he could have gas or an ulcer.



Sentence 7b

doctor / tell / Jay / it / could / gas / ulcer


The doctor [told/tells] Jay (that) it could be gas or an ulcer.



Sentence 8

doctor / inform / Jay / he / have / acute / appendicitis / and / he / need / emergency / surgery


The doctor informs Jay (that) he has acute appendicitis and (that) he needs emergency surgery.



Sentence 9

Gloria / feel / guilty / because / she / make / Jay / suffer / two / day


Gloria feels guilty because she made Jay suffer for two days.



Sentence 10

Gloria / not / want / let / Jay / go / surgery / until / he / forgive / her


Gloria doesn't want to let Jay go into surgery until he forgives her.



triangle Listen & Repeat 듣고 따라하기 Ouça e repita Escuchar y repetir [ ? ]

Listen & Repeat


This activity has two purposes.

The first purpose is to improve listening accuracy. Learners can often understand the general meaning of a video but still not hear and understand many of the words that are said. This is because native speakers tend to say the functional words unclearly. (eg. don’t know, going to, want to, can’t, must have) This activity is designed to help learners improve their ability to hear these words.

TIP: Learners should listen, and then try to repeat exactly what they hear. Then they should click “Show” and read the sentence. After reading the sentence, learners should listen again and try to hear each word.

The second purpose is to improve pronunciation.

TIP: Learners should listen to and read the sentences at the same time. Then learners should try to copy the pronunciation and intonation of the speaker exactly.

TIP: Exaggerating the intonation and feeling of the speaker is useful. It may feel awkward or funny, but it will help you sound more natural.

Escuchar y Repetir

Esta actividad tiene dos propósitos separados.

El primer propósito es mejorar la precisión auditiva. Los estudiantes a menudo pueden comprender el significado general de un video, pero aún no escuchan ni comprenden muchas de las palabras que se dicen. En particular, los hablantes nativos tienden a decir las palabras funcionales (p. Ej., No sé, voy a, quiero, no puedo, debe haberlo hecho) de manera poco clara. Esta actividad está diseñada para ayudar a los alumnos a mejorar su capacidad para escuchar estas palabras.

CONSEJO: Los alumnos deben escuchar y luego intentar repetir exactamente lo que se dijo. Luego deben hacer clic en "Show" y leer la oración. Después de leer la oración, los alumnos deben volver a escuchar e intentar escuchar cada palabra.

El segundo propósito es mejorar la pronunciación.

CONSEJO: Los alumnos deben escuchar y leer las oraciones al mismo tiempo. Luego, los alumnos deben intentar copiar la pronunciación y la entonación del hablante.

CONSEJO: Es útil exagerar la entonación y el sentimiento del hablante. Puede parecer incómodo o divertido, pero te ayudará a sonar más natural.

듣고 따라하기

이 액티비티에는 두 가지 목적이 있습니다.

첫 번째 목적은 청취 정확도를 높이는 것입니다. 학생들은 종종 비디오의 일반적인 의미를 이해할 수 있지만 여전히 많은 단어를 듣고 이해하지 못합니다. 특히 원어민은 기능적 단어 (예 : 모르겠다, 갈 것, 갖고 싶어, 가질 수 없어야 한다)를 불분명하게 말하는 경향이 있습니다. 이 액티비티는 학습자가 이러한 단어를 듣는 능력을 향상시킬 수 있도록 고안되었습니다.

팁 : 학습자는 듣고 나서 말한 내용을 정확하게 반복해야 합니다. 그들은“Show”를 클릭하고 문장을 읽어야 합니다. 문장을 읽은 후 학습자는 다시 듣고 각 단어를 들어야 합니다.

두 번째 목적은 발음을 향상시키는 것입니다.

팁 : 학습자는 동시에 문장을 듣고 읽어야 합니다. 그런 다음 학습자는 화자의 발음과 억양을 따라 해 보아야 합니다.

팁 : 화자의 억양과 느낌을 과장하는 것이 유용합니다. 어색하거나 재미있게 느껴질 수 있지만 더 자연스럽게 들리는 데 도움이 됩니다.

Ouvir e repetir


Esta atividade tem dois propósitos.

O primeiro objetivo é melhorar a precisão auditiva. Os alunos geralmente podem entender o significado geral de um vídeo, mas ainda não ouvem e entendem muitas das palavras que são ditas. Isso ocorre porque os falantes nativos tendem a dizer as palavras funcionais de forma pouco clara. (por exemplo, não sei, vou, quero, não posso, devo ter) Esta atividade é projetada para ajudar os alunos a melhorar sua capacidade de ouvir essas palavras.

DICA: os alunos devem ouvir e tentar repetir exatamente o que ouviram. Em seguida, deveriam clicar em “Mostrar” e ler a frase. Depois de ler a frase, os alunos devem ouvir novamente e tentar ouvir cada palavra.

O segundo objetivo é melhorar a pronúncia.

DICA: os alunos devem ouvir e ler as frases ao mesmo tempo. Em seguida, os alunos devem tentar copiar exatamente a pronúncia e a entonação do falante.

DICA: É útil exagerar na entonação e no sentimento do falante. Pode parecer estranho ou engraçado, mas ajudará você a soar mais natural.


Directions: Play the audio clip and try to repeat what you hear. Click "Show" to see the text.

Instrucciones: Reproduce el clip de audio e intenta repetir lo que escuchas. Haga clic en "Show" para ver el texto.

Instrucciones: Reproduzca el clip de audio e intente repetir lo que escucha. Haga clic en "Mostrar" para ver el texto.

지시 사항 : 오디오 클립을 재생하고 들리는 내용을 반복해 보십시오. 텍스트를 보려면 "Show" 를 클릭하십시오.


Clip 1

Jay, do you want to go to the mall with me?



Clip 2

Stomach pains can mean a lot of things.



Clip 3

Hey kid, (have) you got a minute?



Clip 4

Can this wait until I'm home? I'm having the round of my life.



Clip 5

I've been thinking I might have a couple of those those symptoms you were talking about.



Clip 6

You might as well play through. It's going to be a while.



Clip 7

Well, I'm probably wrong, but you know, I just want to make sure.



Clip 8

Did she buy that? Because it sounded fake on this end.



Clip 9

I (have) got to tell you, this is looking more and more like diverticulitis.



Clip 10

I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here.



Clip 11

You read it there. You think it here. You feel it here.



Clip 12

I know you think this is nothing, but he did say it could be an ulcer.



Clip 13

You have acute appendicitis. We need to get you into surgery right away.



Clip 14

The tests are conclusive. Everything will be all right, Mr. Pritchett.



Clip 15

Noooooooo! You can't go without forgiving me!



Clip 16

It's usually the anesthesia that gets you.



triangle Discussion 논의 Questões de discussão Discusión


  1. Should Gloria feel guilty? Is she the worst wife in the whole wide world? Why?
  2. In regard to illness, Jay seems very careful and concerned, and Gloria seems unconcerned. Are you more like Gloria or Jay? In what ways?
  3. Do you use health or medical websites? For what types of symptoms? How often? What websites do you use? Do you think that they are useful and helpful?
  4. Gloria says, "You read it there (website), you think it here (brain), you feel it here (body)." Do agree with her? Is her order correct?
  5. For what illnesses or injuries do you visit the doctor? For what illnesses or injuries do you just stay home and treat yourself?
  6. Do you use any alternative medicines? (Acupuncture? Chiropractic? Oriental medicine?) What kind? When? Are they effective?
  7. What is the most serious illness or injury that you have had? How long did it take you to recover?

triangle Script 대본 Roteiro Texto


Gloria: Jay, you want to go to the mall with me?

Jay: No, actually, my stomach's a little funny today.

Gloria: Oh, I am so sorry, papi. Maybe we'd stop first at the crib store and you lay down and I buy you a little dress, hmm?

Jay: Gloria thinks Americans are babies.

Gloria: Well, in Colombia we couldn't go run to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.

Jay: Okay, good.

Manny: Jay, what are your symptoms? Nausea? Bloating?

Gloria: What did I say about getting off that crazy doctor Web site?

Manny: I'm just worried about Jay. Stomach pains can mean a lot of things. Intestinal blockage? Do you have a fever?

Gloria: Stop it! Manny, he's fine. Tell him you're fine.

Jay: I'm fine.

Gloria: Okay, good. Get in the car.

Jay: Uh, home fine, not mall fine.

Gloria: Jay, you know what happens when I shop angry.
Jay: I'll clear a space.

Manny: Mmm. I'm not loving your color.

Jay: Go play.

Manny: Don't be a hero.


Jay: Hey, kid, you got a minute? I need the name of that medical Web site.

Manny: Can this wait until I'm home? I'm having the round of my life.

Jay: I've been thinking I might have a couple of those those symptoms you were talking about.

Manny: Oh. I see. You might as well play through. It's going to be a while.

Jay: I'm probably wrong, but I just want to make sure.

Gloria: Is that Manny?

Jay: Work. So tell them I'll get that order out this afternoon, huh?

Manny: Did she buy that? Because it sounded fake on this end.

Jay: I'll talk to you later, Tom. Tom.


Manny: I have got to tell you, this is looking more and more like diverticulitis.

Jay: Do they say how to treat it, like a heating pad or… There it is again!

Manny: Describe the pain.

Jay: It's like I'm being stabbed. But also like I ate a bad scallop that's stabbing me from the inside.

Manny: That's colorful, but there's no box for that.

Gloria: What are you guys looking at?

Jay: Girls!

Manny: Huffington Post! Uh, girls.

Gloria: Manny, let me see that screen. What did I tell you?

Jay: It's not his fault. I asked him to look. I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here.

Gloria: Yes, you do! That computer! You read it there, you think it here, you feel it here. You want to feel better? There. You're cured!

Jay: Give me 15 minutes, then tell Florence Nightingale I went to the hospital.


Gloria: Are you okay, baby? Do you need another pillow?

Jay: I know you think this is nothing, but he did say it could be an ulcer.

Gloria: He also said it could be gas. Do you want me to burp you? Come here. Come here.

Manny: Dollars to doughnuts it's diverticulitis.

Doctor: Actually, it's not.

Gloria: Aha!

Doctor: You have acute appendicitis. We need to get you into surgery right away.

Jay: Emergency surgery. I told you it was something. Aha!

Gloria: That can't be right. You have to check again.

Doctor: The tests are conclusive. Everything will be all right, Mr. Pritchett. Let's go.

Gloria: No, Jay! If that's true, then I'm the worst wife in the whole wide world! I made you suffer for two whole days!

Jay: Honey, it's okay.

Gloria: No, it's not okay! Why? Why do I always almost kill my husbands?

Jay: And I want to hear this story sometime, but I'm sort of counting down to a rupture here!

Gloria: No! You can't go without forgiving me! What if you die in there? What do I do without you?

Jay: I forgive you! But nobody dies of an appendectomy.

Manny: True. It's usually the anesthesia that gets you. You're over 60, right?

Gloria: I will never forget you, Jay!

Jay: Could you go back to not caring, please?