Phoebe mugged (robbed) Ross a long time ago. Now she has to tell him the truth.
[n] - noun, [v] - verb, [phv] - phrasal verb, [adj] - adjective, [exp] - expression
Monica: Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross.
Monica: Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.
Phoebe: You were?
Ross: Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. It was outside St. Marc's Comics...you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble Spiderman got into that week-
Monica: Wonder Woman!
Ross: Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery, you know, to pick up a couple of dozen Linzer torte for someone... when outta nowhere this-this, this thug with a pipe jumps out and says: "Gimme your money, punk!"
Phoebe: Oh my God...
Ross: I know! And-and the worst part was they took my backpack which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book: "Science Boy."
Monica: Oh yeah! Wh-what was his superpower again?
Ross: A superhuman thirst for knowledge. I-I better get to class. Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way Phoebe?
Phoebe: No...actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane street...that's where Stabby Joe works.
Phoebe: Ok, I think we have a problem here.
Phoebe: Well, uhm, back in my mugging days, you know, I, uhm, I worked at St. Marc's Comics.
Phoebe: Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice and, uhm, pre-teen comic book nerds were my meat.
Phoebe: Well, there was this one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said-
Phoebe: and Monica "Geology rocks!"
Monica: Oh my God!
Phoebe: I know...I mugged Ross!
Phoebe: Hey, you!
Phoebe: Hey, how was class?
Ross: No one ever asked me that, what's wrong?
Phoebe: Nothing, I really wanna know.
Ross: Oh, well, uhm, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene-
Phoebe: Alright, nothing is worth this. Uhm, I have, I have a confession to make...uhm, ok, you know that, that girl that mugged you when you were a kid-
Ross: Wh-What're you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this-this huge dude, he had a pitchfork and a, and a sword.
Phoebe: You don't have to lie anymore, Ross, I know that it was a fourteen year-old girl.
Ross: No, it wasn't.
Phoebe: Yes, it was.
Ross: No, it wasn't. You don't think I would've defended myself against a fourteen year-old...
Phoebe: "Gimme your money, punk!"
Ross: Oh my God, it was you! I can't believe it, you...you mugged me?
Phoebe: Yeah, and I'm so, so sorry, Ross, I'm sorry, but, you know, if you think about it, it's kinda neat. I mean, well, it's-it's just that I I've always felt kind of, you know, like an outsider, you know, the rest of you have these connections that like way back and, you know, now, you and I have...have a great one!
Ross: It's not the best!
Phoebe: I know, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I don't know what to say-
Ross: There's nothing you can say. That was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me.
Phoebe: Really? Even more humiliating than-
Ross: Yeah, let's not do this!
Phoebe: Hey, Ross! Ok, look, I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a sec?
Ross: Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry, sure, go ahead.
Phoebe: I just really wanted to apologize again and...and also show you something I think you'll find very exciting.
Ross: Oh my God, crap from the street?
Phoebe: Look, Ross, in this box are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell...or smoke. Anyway, I was looking through it and I found "Science Boy" (She holds up some sheets of paper and hands them to Ross)
Ross: Oh my God. I never thought I'd see this again. It's all here. What, what made you save it all these years?
Phoebe: I can't say, I just thought it was really good...and-and...maybe would be worth something one day.
Ross: You really thought "Science Boy" was worth saving.
Phoebe: Well, yeah...but you should know, I also have a jar of vaseline and a cat skull in here.
Ross: Still, this-this is amazing...Oh my God, thank you, Phoebe.
Phoebe: You're welcome. And thank you for "Science Boy". I learned a lot from him.