Phil and Claire struggle with the correct way to punish their son Luke.
[n] - noun, [v] - verb, [phv] - phrasal verb, [adj] - adjective, [exp] - expression
Directions: Choose the expression that best completes the sentence
Alex: Mom! Dad!
Claire: What happened?
Alex: Luke just shot me.
Luke: I didn't mean to.
Claire: Are you ok?
Alex: No. The little bitch shot me.
Luke: They’re only plastic BBs. It was an accident.
Claire: What did I tell you would happen if we got him a gun? Deal with this.
Phil: Buddy. Uncool.
Claire: That’s it. No no no! The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him.
Phil: We were serious about that?
Claire: Yes we were. And now you have to follow through.
Luke: I am so sorry.
Claire: Liar! Go!
Phil: He’s got a birthday party.
Alex: What’s more important here, Dad?
Claire: You can shoot him afterwards. He’ll be home at two.
Phil: I can’t shoot him at two. I am showing a house at two.
Alex: What about three?
Claire: No. He’s at a soccer game at three. And then we gotta leave for that dinner thing at five. 4:15. You could shoot him at 4:15.
Phil: Yes. I guess that works for me.
Claire: Shoot Luke.
Phil: Sorry dude. It’s on the calendar.
Luke: Oh come on.
Phil: Buddy. What are you wearing?
Phil: Uh-un. No jacket. One hat. How many pairs of underwear do you have on?
Luke: One ….. six.
Phil: I want you to know I’m not enjoying this. But this is an important lesson that you are learning. So soak it, keep it.
Luke: You’re too close. It’s gonna hurt.
Phil: It’s supposed to hurt.
Luke: And why are you smiling?
Phil: I’m … what? Oh forget it. I can’t do this. The point is you are scared. I think you’ve learned your lesson.
Luke: Ow! You hit my bone!
Phil: It was an accident!
Luke: I thought you were my friend!
Phil: I am your friend!
Haley: Dad! You have got to talk to mom! She is like completely freaking out and embarrassing me!
Phil: Well honey your mom is not always as cool about things as ….. What is with this thing?
Luke: Dad … this is the coolest bike ever.
Phil: Awesome. So listen buddy. Certain members of this family don’t think you can take care of this bad boy.
Luke: You mean mom?
Phil: Your words, not mine. Look. Your mom and I are a team. And she …. we feel like this is an chance for you to show some responsibility. Don’t make us look like jerks here.
Luke: I won’t.
Phil: Ok. One more rule.
Phil: Have like three butt loads of fun.
Luke: Thanks Dad.
Phil: Ten minutes after making a promise to me, he leaves his bike unlocked. All I can hear is Claire’s voice in my head. He’s not responsible. You never should have given him a bike. I know. I do a pretty good Claire.
Phil: So I decided to teach him a lesson and let him think his bike was stolen. Now I know that sounds kind of rough, but sometimes it’s a dad’s job to be the tough guy.
Phil: Excuse me. Thank you. On your left. My left. Your right.
Phil: He blew it! He made me look bad. No. He made his mother and I look bad. We are a team. Luke. You in there?
Luke: Hey Dad.
Phil: Hey. Hey buddy.