What the hell?
Shh! He's meditating.
I can't smoke cigars in here, but you can make it smell like a Thai massage parlor? I would imagine.
Sorry, Oscar. I know you are incensed by incense. Just trying to regain my inner peace. It's been two months since Emily and I broke up
and I'm still feeling out of balance.
I did the same thing after my divorce. Only instead of meditation and chanting, it was carrot cake and Merlot.
So, how was Shakespeare in the Park? Was Ralph Fiennes amazing as Henry IV?
Eh. He was okay.
How would you know? You fell asleep five minutes in.
How can you fall asleep during Shakespeare?
Easy. First you get confused, then you stop listening, then, before you know it, your girlfriend's elbowing you because Voldemort is bowing.
Well, maybe you'll like part two of the play better.
There's a part two?
Yes, remember? Thursday night.
But there's a game on Thursday night.
Oscar! I cannot believe that you are complaining about going to the theater with a beautiful, cultured woman. Do you know how lucky you are?
I would trade places with you in a second.
You know what? Maybe we can make that happen. Why don't you go with Charlotte?
Oh, that's sweet of you, but
Oh, come on! You love artsy stuff, you hate hearing me snore, and I love not going. It's a win-win-win.
Well, if Charlotte doesn't mind, I would love to escort her.
Great! What an amazing plan!
Yeah, what an amazing, undiscussed plan.
I'm so excited for Thursday. When we hear the immortal words of Price Henry, "I know you all, and will awhile uphold the unyoked humor of your idleness".
And I can't wait till Thursday when I hear the immortal words of the pizza guy, "I'm here. Enjoy your cheesy bread."
Where's Felix tonight?
He's out with Charlotte. In the past week, he has saved me from a play, an art opening, and some dancing bird thing.
And you're not worried that Felix is gonna swoop in and steal your woman?
Good evening, you scrappy band of underdogs.
How was the ballet?
Felix, what did you call it?
An invigorating exploration of the boundaries of the human body.
Well, I would like to explore the boundaries of your human body.
I'm sorry, I knew two words in that was going south.
And tomorrow night I have secured us box seats for the Arias of Love concert, featuring our favorite soprano Anna Netrebko!
Oscar, you don't mind if I'm out with Felix another night?
Of course. I can't wait to not go.
I'll change and meet you at your house.
This is the life!
Felix does the boring five hours, then I swoop in at the end of the night for the fun five minutes.
Ten minutes. Ten is good, right?