Oscar+Charlotte 2: Oscar comes up with numerous lies in order to convince Charlotte to go on date with him.
[n] - noun, [v] - verb, [phv] - phrasal verb, [adj] - adjective, [exp] - expression
Thank you for taking me to lunch, Oscar. I'm so looking forward to it.
Well, it's a big day. The third anniversary of us working together.
Ah, our work-iversary.
Yeah, keep saying it. It's still not catching on.
Listen, the last few years have been kind of rough for me, and I wanted to thank you for always being there.
Well, this was fun. Off you go!
Charlotte. You going up? 'Cause I'm going up, too.
Weren't you just getting off?
No. I forgot my keys upstairs. Since I have you here...
In an enclosed box with nowhere to go?
Oscar, how many times are you going to ask me out?
Whatever the current number is, plus "Will you join me for a drink tonight?"
Sorry, I'm busy. I'm chairing a fund-raiser for the New York Philharmonic.
Are you kidding?! That's exactly where I was going to take you for the drink. As I am also attending, as well.
Really? I did not have you pegged for a classical music guy.
Oh, yeah, love the stuff. The classicker, the better.
Well, I'm surprised that you reserved a whole table, which, as you obviously know, is the only way you can buy tickets. That was very generous.
It was, because I am generous. But not crazy generous, right?
Are you sure you're not doing this just to impress me?
Hey, if you're impressed, that's on you, sister.
Oscar, if you don't have your keys, how are you going to go in to get your keys?
That's a good question. I hadn't thought of that. Well, see you tonight.
No, I want to stay. Make sure you get in safely.
I can't, uh There's no way to, uh You shouldn't have to...
Oscar, just go ahead and pretend to find your keys.
What? I'm not gonna put on a whole show just so you can Hello. What's this? Turns out I had 'em the whole time.
$2,000 for a table?! And you just eat at it, right? You don't get to take it home?
You're supporting a good cause. So that a bunch of rich people can watch other rich people play music? What the heck is this thing?
Just book it. I need to show Charlotte I'm a cultured guy with cultured friends to sit at the table.
Oscar, don't make me go to this.
Please? It's our work-iversary.
All right. Using my catchy catchphrase against me.
Well. I'm just back from the dentist. Guess who is the Flosser of the Month.
Felix, thank God. I need you to teach me everything you know about classical music.
Oh, my gosh, Oscar, I'm finally rubbing off on you! There was last month's napkin triumph, when you used one. But now a genuine interest in the arts. Oh. Where do I begin?
I don't know. Just give me the highlights.
From the dawn of time, when primitive caveman first pounded two rocks rhythmically together...
Skip ahead! Charlotte's not taking me seriously, and I need to convince her I'm a classical music dork like you.
Oh. So you're just doing this to con that poor woman. Oscar, lying is no way to begin a relationship.
You're right. I'm ashamed. I'm gonna change my ways.
No! See? I'm a great liar! I can totally pull this off! Just hit me with some facts. I will not be a party to this deceit.
Fine, don't teach me. I'll teach myself. If I'm not mistaken, there was a movie called Beethoven. Here it is. Oh, and look, he had an adorable dog.