Louis C.K. talks about being a father and the differences between raising sons and raising daughters.
[n] - noun, [phv] - phrasal verb, [exp] - expression
Is each of these ideas about boys or girls?
Boys are hard to raise. All my sisters have boys, and I just feel for em, cause it’s really hard, and they really do…Here’s the thing, though,
girls are just as hard to raise, but on a whole other level, they’re just different. Here’s the difference to me, between boys and girls: Boys fuck.
Things. Up. Girls are FUCKED up [points to brain].
That’s the difference! Boys just do damage to your house, that you can measure in dollars, like a hurricane. Girls like leave scars in your psyche, that you find later [laughs]! Like a genocide or leprosy.
Like my sister in law came over once with her little boy, and he’s like four years old, and she comes over and she’s just – been with him the whole day – so she’s in bad shape, she’s got a drink, and she’s like: I can’t-I can’t-I can…ahcan…I can’t do it, I can’t…And I put like an army blanket around her, try to calm her down. [Pause] And then her little boy walks up to her! He’s got a handful of sand, I don’t know where he got it, there’s no sand in my home [pause for laughter]. He’s got a handful of it! Walks up to his mom, and just throws it right in her drink. It’s all she had. And he just ruined it. Really confident, too. Not like this [gestures], but yeah that shit goes right there. And I was blown away by this, because I have girls, they would never dream of doing that, it wouldn’t even enter their heads that a person could do that! But they’re fucked up!
Like my five year old, the other day, one of her toys broke. And she demanded that I break her sister’s toy to make it fair! And I did. And that’s how much shit she gave me, I broke a little toy, and I felt awful, I was like crying, and I look at her, and she’s got this creepy smile on her face.
That’s the difference between boys and girls, and it becomes the difference between men and women, really. A man will like steal your car, or burn your house down. Or beat the shit out of you. But a woman will ruin your fucking life. d’you see the difference? [Pause] Like a man will cut your arm off, throw it in the river. But he’ll leave you as a human being, intact. He won’t fuck with who you are.
Women are non violent, but they’ll shit inside of your heart.