Jake: Wait for it Wait for it 9:01! Amy Santiago is officially late for the first time ever. All right, let's do this. Who's got theories?
Sergeant: Uh Alarm didn't go off.
Jake: All three alarms? All with battery back-up? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?
Boyle: Ooh! She was taken in her sleep!
Jake: That's what I'm talking about! Super dark, Boyle, but way more plausible than the sarge's (the sergeant's) idiotic alarm clock theory.
Rosa: I bet she tucked herself into bed too tight and got stuck.
Gina: Mm, maybe she fell into another dimension where she's interesting.
Holt: It's 9:00 A.M. Why is no one working?
Jake: Amy Santiago is a few minutes late, and we're all trying to guess why.
Holt: I'd like to play. I'd have to say she's in line at the bank. This is fun.
Jake: It is fun, but you're all wrong. She clearly slipped through a subway grate and is having terrible sex with a mole man.
Jake: There she is. Amy. Where have you been? We've been worried sick. Do you care to explain yourself?
Santiago: I'm just 70 seconds late. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it.
Holt: Santiago, you will tell us, and you will tell us now.
Santiago: There was a problem at the bank.
Holt: Hot damn!